


Ghost of You

by thephanfactory



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 14:45:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16894593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thephanfactory/pseuds/thephanfactory
Summary: It’s been a month since Dan died. Phil hasn’t been able to function properly. He stayed with his parents for 2 weeks but he knew he couldn’t put it off any longer: He had to go home. It wasn’t really home anymore, His home was 6 feet under the ground.





	Ghost of You

It’s been a month since Dan died. Phil hasn’t been able to function properly. He stayed with his parents for 2 weeks but he knew he couldn’t put it off any longer: He had to go home. It wasn’t really home anymore, His home was 6 feet under the ground. 

As Phil walked into the abandoned flat, He could’ve sworn he smelled Dan’s cologne. Phil walked past the kitchen and opened his bedroom door, setting his backpack in the floor. He walked over to his bookshelf and saw “The Amazing Book Is Not On Fire” poking out. He started to push it back in but he couldn’t help but grab it and sit on his bed that was now too big for just him. 

He flipped it over to the front and was met with him and Dan on the cover of the book. When his eyes landed on Dan, Phil couldn’t help but smile as a tear fell down his face. He opened the book and just flipped through it, remembering writing it and laughing as Phil brought Dan endless amounts of coffee. It all seemed like years ago.

When Phil got to Becky and Jessica’s pages, he full-on laughed through his tears. Dan was always so creative when it came to his characters. Phil’s smile faded as he saw his tears stain the ink on the pages. 

Dan was gone. It just happened so fast. Dan said he’d be back, he promised Phil, but he never was. If only Phil knew that was the last time he’d see Dan alive, He would’ve pulled him inside and never have let him leave. 

Phil didn’t know when, but his tears soon turned into broken sobs, his chest tightening with every breath. His fiancé was dead. That was that. There was nothing he could do to change it. It was just like Dan to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, especially in London. 

The cup Dan was drinking out of before he left was still on the coffee table in the lounge they once shared. Dan’s bedroom door hasn’t been opened for weeks. Nothing in his room has been touched or moved since Dan left.

Phil looked in front of him and above his TV, he saw his memory board, Filled with pictures of him and Dan from over the years. He saw one that they took with a fan and the TATINOF tour. She was standing on their knees, it was one of their first modeled pictures. 

Phil suddenly remembered the fans. They just think Dan’s been inactive. They didn’t know the truth. It wasn’t fair. They had a right to know. It’s been a month. 

Phil opened his laptop, wiping his tears before tweeting that he was going live on YouNow in a few minutes. Those few minutes went by faster than he wanted them to. 

As Phil went live, the chat already was getting blown up. Most where asking how he’s been and what was wrong because a few people noticed he had been crying. Then those comments showed up.

“Where’s Dan?” 

Phil felt his heart sink once he read that. He almost forgot why he went live in the first place. He was about to crush so many fans but they needed to hear it now so that they could grieve,

“So, uh, This is a bit weirder than usual, I usually give you guys, like, a 30 minute warning before i go live but this was, uh-,” Phil trailed off, looking at the ground, pulling on a loose string of his sock. “Something happened.” The chat lit up like crazy.

“Oh my god, Phil, What happened?”

“Are you guys okay?”

Phil looked up to glance at the chat before looking back at the ground, shaking his head.

“Dan was in a bad situation when he went out and uh, he, um, He got hurt. Bad.” Phil’s words started to get caught in his throat as his eyes began to water. 

“Is he okay now?”

“Oh my god, What happened? Is he alright?”

“Uh, he had to go to the hospital and uh, before I could get there, he couldn’t hold on any longer.” Phil said and he broke down on camera, losing what little control he had. 

“Phil, Did Dan….?"

“OH MY GOD, DID DAN DIE?”

“No no no no no.”

“Dan died. He’s gone. He’s been gone for a month. I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything sooner, it’s just been hard. But Dan wouldn’t want us to be hurt and depressed over him. He’d want us to, keep going, right, Dan?” Phil asked, looking up at the ceiling before looking down, crying harder.

“Phil…..I’m SO SO SO Sorry.”

“This can’t be happening.”

“How?”

“Oh my god.”

“He uh, was in the wrong place at the wrong time….He was hurt really bad. But I, Uh, did want to tell you guys something before I end this stream.” Phil took a deep breath in then exhaled harshly. “Me and Dan were supposed to get married. Yep, all this time, you guys were right. Me and Dan were in a relationship and the wedding was in three months. Dan would want you guys to know how much he loved you. As a favor to him, I’m going to make a Youtube video on his channel eventually. This is just so Fucking hard.” Phil swore, not caring that people heard.

“I’m not quitting YouTube either. Just…..taking a break. I just need a break. Thank you guys for watching Dan’s channel. Danisnotonfire is uh, no more. I’m sorry. Uh, Goodbye Internet, I guess?” Phil blew a half-hearted kiss before dissolving in a ocean of tears and ending the stream. He closed his laptop and just laid there, crying. 

He couldn’t actually be gone. He just couldn’t. The last thing Dan even said to Phil was “I’ll be home soon.” He never came home though. And he never would. No matter how long Phil watched their front door. 

Phil never believed in ghosts of past friends and family watching over you or that they could hear you. But right now, he didn’t care. He still had so much to say to Dan. Even though, he felt silly, he sat up, wiped his tears and took a deep breath.

“Why did you have to leave me? Y-You promised that we’d be together forever, Dan. You broke that promise.” Phil felt himself slowly starting to slip back into his tears but he continued on before he could.

“It isn’t fair. You left and now i’m here alone. We were supposed to get married, tell everyone about us. Oh, yeah. I told our audience about us…..about you. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It can’t have been a month since you died. It all feels so unreal. I just--I really miss you, Dan. I don’t think I can do this all without you. No more gaming channel, baking videos. We’re not ‘Dan and Phil’ anymore, we’re just Phil. I don’t want to be just Phil.”

Phil didn’t even try to stop his parade of tears from rolling down his face onto his bed, gasping for air, almost like the air in his lungs had gotten knocked out of him.

“I just want to see you again. Just say what I didn’t say to you before, take back all of the fights. Kiss you one more time. I remember in one of the ‘Phil is not on fire’’s, someone asked what it would look like when we were on our 79th one, you said I died and that you were alone. Funny how that changed. At least we would’ve been married then. You won't ever be able to hear me ramble on but I love you. I’ll always love you, Dan. You’re special to me. I just want you to come back.”

Phil shook his head, crying, trying to stop the tears from rolling down his face. "This whole speech is stupid" Phil thought to himself. One thing that Phil didn’t know is that Dan heard it all.

**Author's Note:**

> I cried so many times while writing this! Comments and Kudos are appreciated!!


End file.
